*Hiding in my brother's room rite now*

There are visitors outside and im hiding in my brothers room coz i cant possibly go out with what im wearing rite now and i cant rush to my room coz they will defintely see me..
So i guess im stuck here in front of the comp.. YIPEE!

Today is an ok day i guess.. Havent done much besides eating chocolates (YUMMY!) and sleeping..
Needed to catch up on all the loss sleep..
I guess that is the recipe to happiness.. :)

I'm going out later.. To orchard yet again to just wander around and look for things with my smaller brother and my auntie..
Maybe i'll find something nice to buy later...

Hmmnn.. Maybe i'll continue writing about my day yesterday..
Well, yesterday i went out and had a great time..
I guess it was the first time going out with him after getting attached coz i've been kinda busy..
Oh wait! i forgot to mention that during the past few weeks that i've not been writing in the journal.. I got attached.. heh..
Poor guy.. Has been trying to win me over for many months..
Well, his effort finally paid off rite?

Never thought that i would get attached again so soon, but what the hell.. If i dont try it, i'll never know..
Anyway, i think that now i am better prepared for a relationship than i had in the past few months..
I mean how can u not accept a guy who has been trying so hard to win brownie points? hehe..
But thats now why i decided to go with him.. i guess his sincerity and determination to be with me won me over..
But its still in the early stages and this time im going to take it damn slow..
I guess i like him, but to love him.. i think its too big a word..
I need to give it time and see how i feel.. Coz after the past relationship, i've learnt a big lesson, which is not to fall in love too hard too fast coz in the end it will hurt u more than ever if it doesnt work out..
I guess now, i am able to accpt him for who he is and not try to change him like i did for the past relationships..
I know.. i know.. i'm not supposed to change the other person if i really love him..
But sometimes i just cant help it..
This time, im determined not to do it.. and i hope i can stick to it..
Im happy with the way things are rite now..

The good thing about this new relationship is that both of us still treat each other like friends..
Meaning that i can irritate the hell out of him, call him names and vice versa.. heheh
Well, enough about that.. I just hope it lasts..
I know i sound like a bitch but i cant help being cynical about love and relationships.. Im trying to change.. But it gonna take a whole lot of effort and time no doubt..

Crap!
Its almost six and im still stuck in this room and i havent got ready yet..
Im suppose to go out at six, but how can i when visitors are still at my house?

So i guess i'll continue writing until they go off..

Yesterday...
Hmnn.. i felt comfortable going shopping with him, although i think he should have more patience.. hehe
But i cant blame him.. I have to admit that im damn fussy and unpredictable.. heh..
Poor him! had to follow me around to and fro carrying bags..
But thats what bf's are for rite?? tee heee..

Then i met up with my friend and her bf.. So it was kinda like a double date..
I was shocked at how violent my friend can be towards her bf..
I thought i was violent, but i guess this time i lose hands down..
Me and my bf were shocked when we saw how violent she was.. Even though she was just playing around.. we think it was too rough..
hehe.. So my bf should count his lucky stars that im not THAT violent!

Ok.. i think the visitors have gone home now.. So i guess i better get going.. I need to get ready!
I'll try to write again later alrite..
Tiddle doo

Hello again!

Im writing this entry in my brother's comp yet again coz my comp is not repaired yet.. My brother says he's gonna do it tommorrow, so i hopw he sticks to his words..

Well, first things first, I AM DAMN PISSED!!!!!!!!
My results are total crap!!! damn damn damn!
I mean i tried hard and all and not a single A!!! AARRGH!
I got a sodding C!!!!!!!! I hate Mr Loh for it!

Well, enough about that i have to admit that i wasnt really surprised or upset when i saw the results.. Not that i was expecting it or anything, but maybe im just used to it.. Coz i havent been getting A's for a long time..
3 semesters!!

A lot of things happened today.. They were happy things i guess..
I guess most of the day, i was a happy girl.. Couldnt ask for more.. Except for the sodding grades!

I went out to watch movie today (DUPLEX), went shopping and met my friend and her bf..
The movie was damn hilarious man.. Was laughing at most of the scenes coz it was freaking funny!

Shopping was ok i guess..
but i wished i could have spent more time looking for my stuff.. But oo bad it was already late and i didnt really get to window shop and survey the things there..
But not to worry! I am going shopping again tomorrow! WOOHHOOO!!
But i must remind myself to budget or else i am gonna regret it later..
My money is going away like water...
Argh!

But oh well, i only get to spend like this only once a year rite?
Anyway, after working my ass off i deserve to have some fun.. ;)

Well, i dont really know what to type rite now.. i havent really reflected on my day yet..
Maybe, i'll write in tomm after ive done my reflection and stuff..

Tiddle doo

AAARGH!!!!

I wrote a lot of stuff in the blog just now and it got deleted coz i accidentally pressed some button. EURGH.

Anyway, here i go again..
I know i havent written in here for a very long time...
I just cant switch on my comp and i dont know what is wrong with it.. Keeps giving me problems..! Eurgh..
Rite now i am sitting in my brother's room while he is out and typing this out as fast as possible before he gets back..

You wont believe the things that have happened to me the last few weeks when i didnt get to use the comp at all..
There was so much drama to last me a whole year man..

Anyway the important thing now is that MY DAMN BLOODY WORK IS OVER!!! I DONT NEED TO REPORT FOR WORK ANYMORE!! WOOOHOOO
i jad to get that off my chest.. im must so excited and exhilirated that i dont need to be held responsible for the shop and its employees.. it was really getting to me..
FINALLY i can do all the things that ive been wanting to do since the start of the school holidays..

You know the earlier log entry i wrote about loving my workplace and all because we are like one big family and all that stuff..? Well, it took a turn for the worse..
The person that i treated like my own sister turned out to be a backstabbing gangster!
She left me horrified and doubting lots of things that she did..

The story goes something like this:

Everything was going along fine.. This lady and her husband were working there and all the other employees including my dad trusted them. We didnt doubt their capabilities nor did we doubt their honesty. But i guess it doesnt pay to actually give peoply a chance and trust them.
All of the employees were very close and like i said we were lilke a big happy family.
But on one night, there was a huge fight between the husband and wife coz of some small mistake that the husband did.
Believe me, it was a HUGE fight. They were really making a scene in front of everybody.
I guess the wife started it first coz she slapped her husband. Well it turned into a row where they were kicking, punching and banging each other. The were tearing each others clothes. It was damn horrible!
The wife almost took the hammer and whacked the husband's head with the hammer. Luckily she was stopped in time by my dad.. or the outcome of the whole situation might be worse..
She called the police, but the police didnt come coz they couldnt find the shop. Man! how dumb or blind can the police be..!
This is the first time in my life to ba involved in such a drama!

Aaarrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wrote the second part.. but it was deleted again!!!!!!
Now i dont feel like writiing anymore..
I think i'll write again another day..
Now im going to watch tv and read a book.. maybe i'll write again later...

Im contented rite now~ :)

Im sitting in front of the comp, eating ice cream, while half watching to a re run of the first bachelor episode. Life cant get any better.. :)
My mantra for now and hopefully for a long time to come is to 'be happy for all the good little things in life'.

Like i said in my earlier entry, it feels good not having to worry about any schoolwork or anything related to projects and deadlines. YAY!

I guess today was an ok day at work.. The first half of the day was horrible.. I was highly irritable and snapped at my brother and stuff.
I felt so mean. But thank goodness my brother is not the kind to hold grudges.

Working is not so bad i guess.. I really like being there coz all the people working there are like one big family.
In fact, my friend and this other lady treats my dad like their own, and im fine with that.
I feel happy and proud knowing that my ppl like and respect my dad.

Anyway, i realised the reason that i dont really type out much here is because i seem to lose most of my earlier reflections and thoughts by the time i sit in front of the comp.

So, today i wrote down my thoughts when i was kinda free during work. Hold on a sec, i wanna write down what i wrote. Here goes nothing:

" Let me write down my thoughts here while they're still fresh on my mind and since i'm quite free rite now.
I can safely say, i've gone a long way since i first started working here.
Been working here since secondary 2.. hmnn.. let's see.. how long is that? 6 loooong years..
heh.. dont get it wrong.. i dont really work for exactly six years.. I just work for one whole month every year during the fasting month.. But i can tell you, its damn tiring!
Over the past years i have seen many changes to myself physically, mentally and emotionally.
Physical wise for starters, i've definitely grown much much taller and i guess i look better now than i used to. :)
Its funny how when i was in sec 2, i thought that i knew a whole lot of things and felt so grown up at the fact that i was working, Felt so proud and matured then.
But now, its totally different. Now do i know the meaning of maturity. Its not in the actions, but its in the way you think.
After going through poly and setbacks the past few years, i've learnt lots of things and one of the most important things that i learnt is not to be judgemental. Especially judging someone based on their looks, coz it is absolutely crap.
You can never know a person based on how they look. They may look like a gangster, but if u get to know them, some of them have better characters than those who looks innocent.
Now, i work based on a better purpose.
- 'SURVIVAL!' he.. need money to buy my stuffs u knoe..
nah.. that is not the real reason..
I just need the money.. wait a minute.. I know i sound kinda desperate, but no i'm not that hard up for money or anything like that.. I am thankful for all the things that i have now..
Its just that i want to save the money for a rainy day, in case anything happens, at least i have some money at hand and can help my family members if ever they are in need of financial help.
Anyway, i believe in buying the things that i want or need out of my own sweat and effort.
I dont want to ask money from my parents coz i know they already have so many things to pay for.
Furthermore, saving up the money and then buying the thing that we want makes us cherish what we've got.
Talking about cherishing, working and earning my own money no matter how tough it is has taught me the value of money.
At least i know that it doesnt come easy and i make sure i dont fritter it away.
Maybe, the fact that i love my parents a whole whole lot just makes me even more determined not to trouble them by asking money from them and sort of helping them out by actually supporting myself.
Anyway, this year is special. Working with my dad and all has made me see and realize how much he loves me..
Thinking of him and the love that he shows me through his actions drives me to tears coz im so touched by it..
I never realized how much i love him up till now. Although he has done serious mistakes in the past, i can easily overlook all that and not bear any grudges for the simple fact that he is my dad and i love him.
I love him so much that it hurts so bad whenever i hear someone says something mean about him.
My dad is not really the affectionate kinda person, but if u know him well enough, he shows his affection in a gruffy kinda way.
Before anyone thinks that i only love my dad, well, i love my mom even more.. no doubt about it..
She's my role model.. I hope that if i become a wife in the future i will be able to have her patience and detemination..
I miss her whenever she's working and she makes my days when its her off days..
Just knowing that she's at home and not working is enough to make my day.
She's the pillar of strength for the whole family..
Her sacrifices are something that will always be in my mind, and i hope to repay it..
I JUST LOVE MY FAMILY EVEN IF SOMETIMES THINGS AREN'T PERFECT

I think im getting tired and sleepy..
I guess i'll stop here for now..
I'll try and continue tomm if its possible..
hmnn.. speaking of tomm.. i need to clean up my drawers and stuff.. its like a hamster's cage in there..

Nitey nite all..

YAY!! YAY!!
Happy sha la la.. its so nice to be happy.. sha la la la.. Everybody should be happy.. sha la la.. Its so nice to be happy! :)

Today is a happy day!
For starters, i dont have anymore school assignments or things to do!
That is a whole lot of load off my mind!
I guess the small little things in life just makes me happy..
Knowing that i dont have to hand up anything with a dateline to meet, im really and truly happy!
Im so happy knowing that i can do my own stuff and not think about the things that i have to do for school.. YIPEE!

Although im tired, today has been fairly good..
I guess feeling good and happy is all in the mind!
I decided that today was going to be a good day, and tried smiling a lot throughout the day and think of happy thoughts. It worked!!

Although sometimes i felt like a bloody idiot grinning to myself but i guess it is worth it when at the end of the day, you go to sleep with a smile on your face~

A lot of things happened today, but my thoughts are all over the place..
So i think i'll reflect on them first and write them down later..

Tiddle doo